Have you met my pal Martha Beck?
She's a life coach and the author of some of my favourite books, including Expecting Adam, Leaving the Saints, Steering by Starlight, and most recently, Diana, Herself. And by sheer luck/magic/whatever, I was recently chosen to talk to her for FIFTY GLORIOUS MINUTES over Skype.
Martha coached me on stuff ranging from work/life balance to how I can channel Margaret Atwood's energy in order to be the best workshop facilitator ever. But the most valuable thing she left me with was this phrase:
I respectfully do not care.
I may get this tattooed on my forehead. So much of my life is spent worrying that I'm doing the wrong thing -- that I should be doing laundry instead of watching TV, or writing instead of doing laundry, or cleaning the house instead of playing with my kid, or playing with my kid instead of cleaning the house. I am running out of brain space to keep up with all the shoulds.
So here's my latest and greatest insanity-reduction technique: telling myself that I respectfully do not care anymore, and that I'm going to enjoy what I actually AM doing instead of guilting myself.
I'm.... not quite cured yet. But it's helping. And so I wanted to share it with you! In addition to helping reduce guilt-related anxiety, this phrase also makes a handy dandy writing prompt. For example:
- I respectfully do not care about Martha Stewart's recommended baseboard-cleaning schedule.
- I respectfully do not care that we had take-out food last night so I could get some writing done.
- I respectfully do not care that I've spent far too many hours re-watching Gilmore Girls this week when I could have been -- I don't know -- rewiring lamps. (Is that a thing people do?)
What do you not care about (respectfully or otherwise?)